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Awww, I love the buttwipe one.

This picture reminded me of you… you know when we meet how we try to take anonymous pictures for the forum:

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Rani – InshaAllah, thank you. I love you too, hun.

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Rani, which picture are you going to use?

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It seems that I'm nothing in people's eyes… my feelings don't even matter…

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The little things we hide
The little things inside
I don't wanna show them and I'll be alright.

*sigh*… I love you jaan

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Can someone please tell me how to include a picture in my signature?

Acha ji… if you have the picture you want saved on your computer, just simply go to any uploading site… I like imageshack.us and upload the photo. And then copy where it says “hotlink for forums.” Then paste it under signature and save.

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Ninja ji, teach me too!! I would LOVE to learn arabic…it would make it so much easier to read the Qur'an if I actully understood it…since I already know how to read it…

Acha, InshaAllah… I'll probably create a thread for that.

Boo – Sorry yaar, for taking so long! I'm just so confused . InshaAllah, we'll be able to do it before you leave. We just need Kavita to give us her opinion on the new person Rani chose for her. Choosing a picture won't take me that long. And bolly_baby, you should have an avatar too.

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Enta gherhom… ya habeebi… Enta gherhom

Enta hubbak, ya habeebi… dawa gharhee minnihum….

Enta hubbak…haga tanyah….

….Yallee dayman winta gambi…Ruhi beek mitamminah…

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Yayerz!!! I made dua you guys would be able to meet. Alhumdulillah! .

Ninjafish (lmao) : Your room is always clean…. and when you think it isn't clean…… IT STILL IS! lmao! (can never forget tht time where we both sent each other pics of our rooms agreeing that they were a mess. When I saw yours, there was NO mess!!! and mine……. lmao looked like an explosion of clothes and bags everywhere!!!!!) .

LMAO! I love you!!!!!!! My mom is rubbing off on meeeeee! I want my room clean always or I'm like UNABLE to BREATHE! lol After Rani went, I had to clean it cos we were going psycho…and the kids kept bothering us and making a mess like always. lmaooo, it was hilarious! You were like “WHAT, IT AINT EVEN MESSY!”

Tayba, We were thinking of you the whole time. I had the card you sent me and Rani randomly goes “I miss Tayba”…. *sigh* we love you!

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Rani – I enjoyed today as well. You being there telling me that it's going to be okay meant the world. I just hope you had some fun with all the annoying kids around. *hug*… i love you, hunn. You're stupid, but jazakaAllah for the beautiful box .

Boo – . I completely understand. I have gone through a similar situation… I mean, as far as emotions are concerned. We're going to miss you and you'll always be in our thoughts as well

I love you

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.

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Rani and Ninja, you both are so amazing that I can't even explain it in words. You guys don't know how much you helped me y'day…. Alhumdulillah for you two. <3 I will email you both back soon, InshaAllah. May Allah (SWT) reward you highly for helping me with my Imaan. I love you beyond explanation.

Ninja – that song is so me right now too. Jaana, read over your email to me and your advice to me. Lemme tell you one thing though, if there were anyone in this world right now I'd wanna be more like, it'd be you. May Allah help you in every aspect of your life. Ameen. Thumma Ameen.

Rani – You will fight through this Jihaad and you will be successful. InshaAllah. Ameen, thumma ameen. I'm right here fighting with you. Always InshaAllah. I love you.

*siiiiiiigh* I love you so much, and I hope I took just a tiny bit of your pain away. You, too, are beyond amazing. May Allah reward you for everything that you do as well. Ameen thumma Ameen.

I'll try to take my advice. Sometimes, it's hard. Or rather, it just takes some time, na?

take care of your beautiful self… You're going to be with us the whole time tomorrow, inshaAllah…

We love you beyond explanation as well, always remember that. And as long as Allah let's me, I'll continue to try to repay you for the beautiful and amazing things that you do for me. *tears*……*hugs Tayba and doesn't let go*

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ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!!!

We got back home so late, I'm still cleaning my room! lmao

YAY!!!!!!!!! *jumps with joy*

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check our email…

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I replied to your email, habeebati.

<3

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Ana mosh 'aarif atghayyar
(I am unable to change)
kulli ma a'2ool hatghayyar
(every time I say I'll change…)
tihsal hagah tiragha3ni an kulli elli ana naweeh
(Something suddenly happens and I go back on all my intentions…)

Kulli ma a'2ool ana hab'da2
(Every time I say that I'll begin…)
A'y3eesh hayati bimabda2
(living my life with a purpose…)
Barga3 bad'3af tani

(I get weak again…)
wi mosh bas, ana bad'3af awi
(…I get very weak)

Aywah ba foo2 lamma baroo2
(Yeah, I do wake up, when I calm down…)
wi ahasib nafsi bikam su'2al
(And I judge myself with a few questions…)
warga3 a'2ool mafee makhlu2
(And then I say, there is no one…)
mabyighlatshi da shee2 muhaal
(…Who doesn't sin, it's impossible)

warga2 tani aghlat tani
(And then I sin once again…)
ka'inni bakallim wahid tani
(It's as if I'm speaking to a different person…)
Ana za3laan min nafsi ha2ee2i
(I am seriously upset with myself…)
Ana ghaltan wi da3eef wi anaani
(I am wrong, weak, and selfish…)

kulli yoom bi 3addi 3alayya
(Every day passes me by…)
bi 3addi wiyinsaani
(…Passes by and forgets me…)
wa a'2ool min bukra akeed hatghayyar
(And then I say I will change tomorrow)
yigi bukra barga3 fi kalaami
(…Tomorrow comes and I go back on my word)

3al haal da b2ali kteer
(I've been this way for so long…)
3al haal da ana wi kteer
(I've been this way with many others…)

Aywah ba foo2 lamma baroo2
(Yeah, I do wake up, when I calm down…)
wi ahasib nafsi bikam su'2al
(And I judge myself with a few questions…)
warga3 a'2ool mafee makhlu2
(And then I say, there is no one…)
mabyighlatshi da shee2 muhaal
(…Who doesn't sin, it's impossible)

warga2 tani aghlat tani
(And then I sin once again…)
ka'inni bakallim wahid tani
(It's as if I'm speaking to a different person…)
ana nadmaan 3ala wa2ti ha2ee2i
(I truthfully regret the time I've wasted…)
Ana mosh hafdal hina fi makaani
(I will not remain where I am anymore…)

*sigh*

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I hate it that when the forum is getting back to normal and it's so much fun right now i'm ruining it with my depressy mood. But I can't help it. I don't want to fake happiness. I hate fake smile. I hate being fake. I hate me so much right now for every bad thing I have ever done and for every single person I have ever hurt. I need to change. I never knew Jihaad was so hard…

Habeebati, the forum is still normal. This is normal us. We can't always be happy and we can't always be sad. It hurts me so much every time you say that you hate yourself… Because it's already enough that you feel that the world hates you… I wish I could give you the love you want so you could love yourself… I wish I were able to do something… I hate this.

Jihad is hard hun, and after the hardship…. Allah's reward will be more than enough… it will be equal to the hardship…

I'm here…

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This is my Jihaad. I'm striving to struggle with myself right now.

Indeed, habeebati. That's the best form of jihaad… You'll pass this test.

I love you

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At times… when I sit and think about the past… about the way things were, about how they changed, about all the people who decided to walk out… I realize, that even though I'm still refusing to accept some things, that things are best this way. That what seemed like happiness back then, was nothing but an illusion I was living… an illusion that came to an end too late and caused the most pain…

*sigh*

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I can't type much jaana, isliye I'm here.

Don't be worried…. I'm just trying to cleanse my soul… somehow.

*hug* You'll manage to do it, I know. I love you.

I love that nasheed. NBN are the bomb

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