[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! You have the memory of an elephant dang it. I have bare feet and nope they are not cold. It's freakishly humid here.

[SenorJalapeno]

1. People who cannot think of a fifth one (Just kidding)

1. Men who are rude to women (Need to be shot, resurrected and shot again).

2. Women who boss men around (Should be lined up after the men above).

3. Men and Women who hurt children (Punishment is okay, abuse never is).

4. Dates who order a Caesar Salad- 'No Chicken, No Cheese, No Croutons, and Light Italian Dressing Only Please' and then proceed to turn Puma and devour most of my Chicken (Too bad I cannot express what I want to do to them here…involves personalized earth-moving equipment, large ornate hard-wood erm jewel box, and a cool, quiet place).

5. People who are too busy interrupting others at work telling them how to do their job that they barely have time to finish theirs (They should be fired. I mean in an Oven).

Question: What do you admire in others that you do not have or wished to God you had?

[SenorJalapeno]

All this 'Sweet Talk.' Sheesh! Pretty soon my teeth are going to fall off.

[SenorJalapeno]

God, thank you that I am alive. Thank you that you chose to give me another beautiful day.

Same question.

[SenorJalapeno]

Do you know why the Procrastination Club still has no members?

If you apply for an admission, you don't qualify!

[SenorJalapeno]

Like they say: Takes one to know one. That does it for me. Ciao, I'm signing up for the Witness Protection Program, Lol.

[SenorJalapeno]

Aunty erm Rani ji! What do you mean I'm not that bad after? When I was bad? I did not even call you old. I cannot help if that is how you feel Lol (I feel like an old aunty). Lol.

[SenorJalapeno]

Does meeting involve staying for dinner? Then, I know who I would like to meet…well not so much as meet them but a certain member of their family…for reasons I do not wish to disclose…it's sort of personal, more like a erm gut feeling Lol. I'd better watch out. I'm running out of bubbles. Lmao.

[SenorJalapeno]

'Oh no…. why dont you share with us about your home… or what you know of it …. if it doesnt hurt you too much to do so'

I haven't had a 'home' since the early nineties. I've literally been homeless since. Oh, I have lived in nice places but they were merely houses. A home is different from a house. A home is where people desperately love each other, cannot get enough of each other and eagerly set aside their whims and fancies to prioritize others' needs. Or at least, that was the kind of home I grew up in. Until my early teens, we lived a relatively impoverished life. The only thing we had in abundance was love. Everything else was hard to come by. (I was eleven before my folks could afford a couple of Fluorescent Lights and a Khaitan Fan. I remember being so excited that I did not have to sleep with the horrible old Orient Stand Fan that made so much noise one would think the aliens had landed and begun colonizing the planet).

Right now I live in this funny loft like apartment which I will be leaving in three weeks. All my stuff is in boxes. Even most of my clothes are still stuffed in large duffel bags. I was too tired to unpack and re-assemble my bed so I crash in the couch. I have tried my best to ensure my house does not look like a trailer park after a tornado passed through it. My previous apartment was fully furnished so right now I don't have many appliances and I nuke most my meals in the microwave when I'm too exhausted to go out and eat.

I looked at a few of the available apartments in the neighborhood and looks like I have to sell a kidney and offer up my liver as collateral to afford one of these pads. So, I'm moving to the suburbs to breathe fresher air and eat more vegetables Lol. Thank God my friend is my broker at least I will not be taken to the cleaners, which would not be that much of a bad idea since I have a huge pile of laundry I need to get done. If I procrastinate any longer they may start crawling up the walls.

'By the way , pasta is always a good meal to eat … I know…i make a mess too when i cook haha… im not a pro but still learning..what i have to learn to do now is kinda bake some nice cakes and stuff yeah like thats going to happen?'

I love Pasta especially Fusilli, Fettuccine and Ravioli! But, I cannot bake if my life depended on it.

'oh and eating out…. i hope you eat healthy foods …. all day fast foods are really not good for your body'

Kindness becomes you Kavita ji! Yes Ma'am, I will eat healthy. Lol.

[SenorJalapeno]

Sheesh! Some women will go to great lengths to avoid inviting others over for dinner. Cooks are dangerous. If you exasperate them they may end up spitting in your food. Wives could do that too but that would not concern me since its part of their job (we call it kissing but erm its actually spitting in each others' mouth albeit with sweet nothings and tender small-talk). However, Houston erm Rani ji and Boo ji, we have a itsy bitsy teeny weeny problem. I would like to erm acquire a wife on a 90-day return guaranteed basis, to see if she would make a suitable life-long companion. But no one is volunteering. There are many who are eagerly volunteering for the part-time and short-time erm wife for a price but I'm afraid I may learn the alphabet anew (AIDS, VD, STD). Not interested in that sort of learning Lol. Don't want certain appendages to 'fall off.'

[SenorJalapeno]

It's an awesome song! First released in a small album, 'Hanging By A Moment' (Australia, 2001) and has become a cult classic among those who watch Warner Bros' Smallville. My neices are so into Lifehouse and that is how I got started. If you like what you hear, please also check out 'Take Me Away' (Stanley Climbfall, 2002) and 'Everybody Is Someone' from the Wicker Park OST (Josh Hartnett, Diane Kruger and Rose Byrne). They are exceptional! and Yes, I got carried away Lol.

[SenorJalapeno]

Ye desh hai viir javaanon kaa alabelo kaa mastaano kaa
O … ati viiron kii
Ye desh hai viir javaanon kaa
Alabelon kaa mastaanon kaa
Is desh kaa yaaron … hoy!!
Is desh kaa yaaron kyaa kahanaa
Ye desh hai duniyaa kaa gahanaa

[SenorJalapeno]

Waa! Waffles without Whipped Cream- Yum!

Biltong?

[SenorJalapeno]

I know how to cook dang it. Come over I will cook you erm I meant I will cook for you. Lol.

'Okaaaaay, a fact about me…Am a hopeless romantic…'

Im just hopeless.

[SenorJalapeno]

Have you ever seen a man cook? I don't know about other men, but good grief it takes a while to clean up after I'm done. Besides, its not that fun cooking for yourself not to mention cheap either. I eat out most nights and almost all afternoons. What I enjoy is breakfast at home. But, it does not take much to blanche asparagus, melt emmenthal or scramble eggs even if it were with cream. Now, if it was for the right person, cooking would be a delight. Its because someone else besides you gets to enjoy the cooking. Also, I suck at Indian dishes. Shameful, but true. I'm better off with Pasta and Mediterraenan stuff.

As for being away from home (except for the odd one week visits that never satisfy one's yearning) approximately fifteen years. Too dang long.

[SenorJalapeno]

Lol I am not afraid of the handles. I got kicked out of my flat a while ago (Landlord's daughter got married and got that flat as a wedding gift) and had to move into this strange looking loft with too many stairs. Me thinks, handles will be gone soon. Either that or my poor knees Lol. Nice to see you smile Alie. Hope your headaches go away.

[SenorJalapeno]

There was a time that I could eat anything, and as much as I wanted, and not gain a pound. Things have changed lately. All I have to do is chew on an idea for a moment, or as much as peek at Hagen Dazs and I seem to gain weight. This sucks. To add insult to immensity, I may soon have the 'handles' but find no love in sight. I am certain, that even if should I develop the love, I'd probably have no one to erm 'handle.'

[SenorJalapeno]

Awww Rani ji!

Sheesh, I miss mom-cooked meals. All that excitement about being 'independent' and leaving home…if only I knew I'd be eating bland meals served by people whose names I never remember and end up addressing 'Excuse Me' and having to endure being corrected for not asking for a stupid French dish with the right accent! Waaa!

[SenorJalapeno]

Yum Yum!

Cotton Candy?

[SenorJalapeno]

Kavita ji! Kavita ji! May I please borrow the Sweeper and the Dishwasher after you are done? Thanks. Perhaps we could share their schedules Lol. Dishwashing! Yuck!

[Author]

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