[SenorJalapeno]

Putrid

[SenorJalapeno]

All those font sizes and all those colors! My eyes! My eyes! Lol. The movie you were looking for is Ms. Congeniality with Michael Caine, Benjamin Bratt and that woman who looks like the female version of an anorexic and very old Jim Carrey.

[SenorJalapeno]

It's such a pain in the donkey if one has to convince he is himself! Why would anyone want to be me or erm why would I want to be anyone else and miss my schizophrenic twin? (I'm sorry if I do not make sense. I misplaced my Thorazine Lmao).

If you need proof here is my Social Insecurity Number: N2O-911.007-SOS And here is the authorization:

I, Senor Jalapeno Esq., son of Senor Jose Habanero and Senora Gigi Cubanelle, residing at 1 Strange Loft, Noisy Dog Street, Dang Humid City, hereby appoint Ms. Scar Face of Bollywood Lyrics Forums as my Attorney-in-Fact.

There. That should do it.

[SenorJalapeno]

A woman is irresistible if there is something fiesty or dangerous about her. I may get myself into hot water for this but I believe tame women to be a bit boring. I do not ever want to end up with a person whom I could 'figure out' in a few days. If every day in life is to be an adventure, I have to be with someone whom I would long to know every single day of my life as if I have never met her before. That song is a promise of something that I cannot quite define. But, its a promise nonetheless.

[SenorJalapeno]

I read your mind. While you were asking me the english version, I was posting it. Premonition! But, please no Sandra Bullock. Her voice makes my ears bleed.

[SenorJalapeno]

The English Version

She may be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She may be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell….

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She maybe the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows in the past
That I remember 'till the day I die

She maybe the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I care for through the rough and ready years

Me, I'll take the laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She….She
Oh, she….

[SenorJalapeno]

I grew up as a Nerd (As someone once said: In my youth I looked as a greek god, and having grown old, I am but a god-forsaken geek) so I guess I'm flattered someone has the compassion to think I'm even remotely funny. But, I think you guys are far more hilarious than I could ever be.

Kissing is off? Well, if you must insist, I will let you free from your obligations on one condition: Find a replacement Lmao. Someone who is not married and knows how to cook.

Now, before I get reported for posting irrelevant things on the wrong thread, here is a favorite song of mine:

Tous Les Visages de L'amour (She by Elvis Costello from Notting Hill OST)

Toi, par tes mille et un attraits
Je ne sais jamais qui tu es
Tu changes si souvent de visage et d'aspect
Toi quelque soit ton âge et ton nom
Tu es un ange ou le démon
Quand pour moi tu prends tour à tour
Tous les visages de l'amour

Toi, si Dieu ne t'avait modelé
Il m'aurait fallu te créer
Pour donner à ma vie sa raison d'exister
Toi qui est ma joie et mon tourment
Tantôt femme et tantôt enfant
Tu offres à mon cœur chaque jour
Tous les visages de l'amour

Moi, je suis le feu qui grandit ou qui meure
Je suis le vent qui rugit ou qui pleure
Je suis la force ou la faiblesse
Moi, je pourrais défier le ciel et l'enfer
Je pourrais dompter la terre et la mer
Et réinventer la jeunesse

Toi, viens fais moi ce que tu veux
Un homme heureux ou malheureux
Un mot de toi je suis poussière ou je suis Dieu
Toi, sois mon espoir, sois mon destin
J'ai si peur de mes lendemains
Montre à mon âme sans secours
Tous les visages de l'amour
Toi ! tous les visages de l'amour

[SenorJalapeno]

I know! It's like she has a vendetta against hungry people. I don't get women sometimes. I have this colleague who constantly complains about how no one talks to her and no one asks her out and how lonely she is each weekend… Funny thing is, she is drop-dead gorgeous with desirable dimensions north and south of the erm equator, but it is not always that easy to approach a beautiful woman and say 'Hi' without feeling like your tongue and your tonsils are doing the Tango. Sheesh! Be merciful.

[SenorJalapeno]

'Im telling you, it aint a fact.'

I choose to believe whatever that is conducive to my mirth. Lmao.

[SenorJalapeno]

'OYE! You better watch it, I ain't no aunty. I may feel like one, but I sure ain't one. I will be one day, but that day is far enough for now.'

OYE back! Yeah, I've been watching. Remember the saying, 'No smoke without a fire?' Let me explain it to you: It means if you feel like an aunty…I think you got it. Well done.

'Do I have to explain everything to you?'

Yes. You have to. I learn better over a nice meal. So, how about it?

'Sorry, I'm on crack this morning.'

Just this morning? Judging by some of your posts…

'And stop pressing space twice after your sentences, it's annoying me…'

Annoying you? Oh thank God! I've found my purpose in life.

[SenorJalapeno]

Did someone just say they weren't a 'Joung Lady?' I do not think it was a contradiction at all. Just fact.

[SenorJalapeno]

I am not Spanish, but I do like Jalapenos. They are awesome when accompanied by melted cheddar. I was called Chili Pepper because I fancied spicy food, and eventually ended up with Senor Jalapeno. For a while, I did try to learn Spanish, but the girl in question returned to El Salvador, and alas! no more foreign tongue, umm…I mean no more teachers.

[SenorJalapeno]

Apparently, your sister is friendlier! Is she a member of this forum? Do you think (objective insight only please) I could get her to invite me over for dinner instead? I can't seem to get anywhere with you, and Ninja refuses to help. Sheesh! Loyalty is a pain.

[SenorJalapeno]

Never tried Coffee with Vanilla in it. Sounds Yuck!

Pecan Pie?

[SenorJalapeno]

Samoosas are Yum!

Pop Tarts?

[SenorJalapeno]

Pileup

[SenorJalapeno]

Dhoom

Aah Alma Lank – Amitabh Bachchan

[SenorJalapeno]

I can be the a$$? Well, I'm glad that me being the butt of the joke made you laff Lol. I could turn the other cheek if you want so you could laugh more Lmao!

[SenorJalapeno]

Whew! Thank God I am a Dragon.

[SenorJalapeno]

Well, excuse me, I think Biltong is awesome. Fries are Yum too.

Onion Rings?

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