[SenorJalapeno]

Boo, you are anything but boring. Anyone who dances in the rain with an iPod, running the risk of being struck by lightning may be a bit crazy, but never boring.

Tayba ji, you should cherish the moments when your brother is taken by your beauty. Sadly, we grow up and lose these moments, no matter how hard we try to keep them alive. They return to us by way of nostalgia much later in life, but by then, we can do no more with memories than to remember them knowing senility will set in soon and we may forget those rare moments.

I was all bouncing about in the cafe a few minutes ago. Now with all this family talk and dancing in the rain, I find myself slipping down memory lane and that is painfully delicious. It is a curse to remember everything so vividly. It's a curse.

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! Yeah, some great plan. Easy to say when you are not the one whose lights are put out. That aside, Chicken sounds just about right. I have been eating so much chicken lately, I would not be surprised if I woke up at dawn, flapped my wings and crowed till everyone one in the coop was awake.

PS: Stupid Wi-fi in Starbucks giving me trouble again. Looks like I missed some interesting chitchat between some old folk about chairs and scooters Lol.

[SenorJalapeno]

Tayba ji, do you scare yourself with your thoughts at times? Because you sure scared the hell outta me right there. Please, Superwoman ji, stay away from me. No cars needed. Definitely no super-thought plans needed either. Ninjaaaaa rescue me

[SenorJalapeno]

When we were kids, I would put a paper-back in my pillow when we had pillow fights. My brothers would be all like 'Ouch, dang, how come your pillow hurts so much?' It was fun till my little brother found out my dirty secret and decided he is going to swing at me with a mustard bottle inside. Thank God the mustard bottle is made of plastic. I still needed three stitches over my eye-brow. I cannot forget the way my brother asked my mother between tears: 'Is anna going to die?' Lol! Bum's thirty four now and a pain in the behind. Siblings should never grow up.

[SenorJalapeno]

Tayba ji, I'm afraid I am of the 'Always the best-man but never the groom' kind. Have no desire to get married. But, if you insist on getting me a gift, how about the new BMW M3? Heard its the closest to heaven on wheels one could ever hope to get! Please?

[SenorJalapeno]

Well, if she is as 'old' as you claim she is, and if 'old is gold' as Serio ji claims it is, Tayba ji, please come here…I'm going to scrape a bit of your super-skin and make me some money! Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[SenorJalapeno]

Attention! Attention! Paging Tayba ji's father. Sir, your presence along with your water-gun, is desperately needed. Lots of smacking going around in here. Please come right-away!

[SenorJalapeno]

Cool? I thought you said Tayba ji was old? Sheesh! Looks like you tested the roti-roller one too many times on your own head. Make up your mind? Is she old? Is she cool? Is she superwoman? Is she road-runner?

[SenorJalapeno]

Shopping! Wedding presents! Fastest way to kill a man's interest in a thread Lol!

Shopping is such a chore, and buying wedding presents is such a headache. If you think 'practical' it may turn out to be one of many -twelve curling irons, eleven waffle makers, ten oven toasters, nine wind-chimes, eight wet-grinders, seven egg-beaters, six laundry-irons, five pressure-cookers, four sets of china, three microwaves, two thermal blankets and a partridge in a pear tree- or think fancy -art, coffee table literature, vacation trips, gift-cheques to the Spa- Sheesh! No wonder I loathe wedding invitations.

[SenorJalapeno]

No fighting? Really now? What about all the talk about roti-rollers? What was that for may I ask? Permanently perming hair -and brains if I might add? If push comes to shove, I would gladly fight Tayba ji (Ouch Ouch Ouch Old) and Rani ji (apparently its in the grapevine that she is short) but you, Ninja ji…you know martial arts Lmao! We be friends. You protect me. Lol!

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! You think I'm good with words? On my best day I huff and puff at the tail end of any post by Boo, Ness, Kavita, and the three. You are not that bad yourself, that is, when you are not fooling around with strange desserts that shape-shift and explode among other things. As for jargon, I am afraid its the result of ageing. You actually missed me by a decade ji. Im from the sixties. How's that for old?

[SenorJalapeno]

Serio ji, I dont live in the 70s, but the other way round: the 70s live in and through me. But, permit me to commend you for possessing the esoteric gift of eloquently stating the obvious. Exciting!

[SenorJalapeno]

As they say back home, if you want to be a superwoman or a superman, just wear your underwear outside and you are ready to go.

[SenorJalapeno]

Serio ji I do not intend to ever write half-baked fiction for juvenile delinquents so you need not worry about reading anything I write. You are safe.

[SenorJalapeno]

When I was in Uni for my Bachelors, I was the youngest among my friends, who 'looked out' for me. I resented these condescending 'elder brother' shenanigans and decided I would 'break away' and make a name for myself my own way. One afternoon during summer vacation, I sat on the terrace of one of the dorms armed with a good slingshot and a bag full of frozen grapes. I saw a girl down below in the parking lot walking towards her car, carrying books in one hand. While she was trying to open the door of her car, something fell out of her hand and she squatted to pick it up. I was aiming a frozen grape at her hindside, but she turned around suddenly, and I hit her smack in the center of her forehead. The grape exploded all over her face and she freaked out. I freaked out as well because she started wailing like a banshee and people started gathering around her and were looking in my direction. I slid down the fire-escape, took a shower, made sure I did not dry my hair, and walked out into the common lobby looking all innocent. I was depressed I did not even have enough time to laugh about it.

Girl in question eventually became a good friend. But she doesn't know. I did not have the heart to tell her. So, there you have it: The Chronicles of Pepper Boy and the mysterious case of the Frozen Grape.

[SenorJalapeno]

Perfect. I've always believed that the secret to loving is in the living as the secret to living is in the loving.

Bon appétit!

[SenorJalapeno]

Apparently, Tayba ji you is fast too. You are not the Road Runner now are you? (Beep! Beep!)

[SenorJalapeno]

Whatever keeps me kicking for a while, you know. I feel like two nations need to revise their 'Assault with a deadly weapon' and 'Domestic Abuse' clauses in the Penal Code. Perhaps, it never occurred to them what a person could do with a roti-roller, especially the metal variety that Tayba ji keeps talking about.

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! A thought came to my mind and simultaneously a roti-roller followed. I was thinking as to how each of the 'three' would respond if I were to call them Habeebati. If I call Ninja ji 'Habeebati,' Rani ji would say 'OYE, that's my wife!' If I call Rani 'Habeebati,' then Ninja ji would clonk me and say 'Yo! That's my husband.' If I call Tayba ji 'Habeebati,' I may get assaulted by the husband and wife team. I don't think I would live to tell the tale Lol. So, names for now. Actually, names for a long time.

[SenorJalapeno]

I'm at work (again) and waiting for the person I am supposed to hire (on my day off, which for some strange reason has also been an off-day) who never arrived for his/her interview. I was thinking to myself, 'Sheesh! I am afraid to hire this person. Looks like if I don't, I will be understaffed (which is not new), and if I do, would be surrounded by another tardy nit-wit (which also is not new).'

I was informed just before lunch, that I had to meet with an important corporate sponsor who pours in a hefty amount each quarter into our feeding programme in the slums. I needed some information but when I walked in, one of my assistants was about to leave for lunch and the others had already left. I asked her: 'How much is your lunch hour worth to you?' 'My sanity,' she replied. 'How much is your sanity worth to you?' I asked. 'It's worth your sanity,' she replied and laughed. She was right.

I let her go for lunch only to find her in fifteen minutes in my office with a grilled-chicken sandwich, lemon iced-tea, and an Oatmeal raisin cookie. 'You are having lunch, while I go sort out your papers and get you ready for your meeting this afternoon,' she announced.

I had such a lousy weekend and grumbled all the way to the office today. Lol! But, this single act of kindness has uplifted my soul. Thank God for kind people. They make this world a much better place than what it has become.

[Author]

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