[SenorJalapeno]

I am well. Sitting in my favorite seat at Starbucks, sipping Tea, listening Balu's 'Oka Venu Geetam Palikindhi Patai' from Ammayi Manasu (1981). I'm waiting for my friend to come pick me up for dinner.

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! I know. I can see dark wisps of smoke coming out of her ears and nostrils. Can you imagine if she was actually around where I am? I am a dead man, twice over. I pity the fool who pisses her off in real life. Poor bugger! He is going to die in so many ways.

[SenorJalapeno]

Hey! I did not know you were here. Lmao! Thank you kindly ma'am. How are you?

[SenorJalapeno]

Ninjitsu, please for my sake, pummel this vertically challenged temperamental feisty inchling. Lmao! Hello Queen! How's the knee? Still below sea-level?

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! Cannibals! Apparently the menu was:

Summer Squash Soup with Pancetta and Pine Nuts
Salade Nicoise with Feta Cheese and Chive flavored Croutons
Fried Senor (Served with Saffron-butter infused Basmati with Bergamot Zest)
Chilled Panacotta with Passion Fruit drizzle served in a sugared frosted dish
Shade-Grown Single-Origin Costa Rican Coffee

Dang! I just made myself hungry (except for the eating myself fried part).

[SenorJalapeno]

I'm fading fast as well. Ciao Kavita. As for you Ness- I enjoyed this evening with you! Thank you for putting up with me. I thank myself (a bit more) for putting up with you. Adios mi amiga.

[SenorJalapeno]

I am neither cute nor charming. But, if the old adage is true and beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder, when Ness sees me I would be as handsome as anything anybody ever laid eyes on.

[SenorJalapeno]

Did I mention Colbie Caillat? I've been stuck on her for a while now. I've also been listening to old Tamil and Telugu. If you haven't listened to Bubbly, you should. And Midnight Bottle as well.

[SenorJalapeno]

That's more like it! Atta girl!

[SenorJalapeno]

Violence! Sheesh, and I thought you passed for a pacifist. Guess not.

[SenorJalapeno]

Oye! You said let's be civil. Lmao! I do not fear large crowds anymore. But I still dread speaking to beautiful women. Show up at my door and you will see it happen.

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! Fine.

My day was interesting but rewarding. How was yours?

[SenorJalapeno]

Good Lord! I am on second base with Ness! Woohoo!

[SenorJalapeno]

You have no idea! The kind of crap that came out of my mouth in the presence of beautiful people or in front of large crowds when I was young. It still does, but lets make fun of the past, not the present. On the fifth anniversary of my brother's death, my parents had a thanksgiving gathering in our home (Mom said it was thanksgiving because my brother was in a better place and we could not argue with her logic).

After a few words from our Pastor and a few more from people who should have never been given a microphone, my Dad asked me if I would inform everyone that dinner was served. I asked him how do I say it and he asked me to say: 'Good evening! May I have everyone's attention please? Dinner is served. Thank you.' Guess what I said? 'Good evening! May I have everyone's dinner please? Attention is served. Thank you.'

I laugh now, but it hurt for a long time thinking of all that laughter.

[SenorJalapeno]

Woman, what the hades are you talking about? You do irritate me- will never let me win an argument; have a lid for every pot; read my mind; finish my sentences; agitate the hobbit- who dreams incessantly of kneeing me in my special place though she can barely lift a leg- into assaulting me; encourage Ninja to brawl it up with me; Yes, you do irritate me (Oh, I absolutely enjoy it…but hush! Its a secret).

Now, you and I (and just about everyone else) know that it is possible that Alie and Drama were either conceived together or shared a single womb and came out together. Lmao! You asking her not to be dramatic is like asking Elton John to please not be gay. Sigh!

[SenorJalapeno]

You are not going to charge me for the wasted lemonade now are you?

[SenorJalapeno]

Well, well, look here! If it ain't the one that likes to stir up trouble for me! Is there some place you got to be? Huh? Like long long ago in a galaxy far away?

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao!

[SenorJalapeno]

Lmao! Tsk…tsk…jealousy! I invited Tayba because I know you two will descend upon me whether I invite you or not. Sigh! Children.

[SenorJalapeno]

Oh Yes! He did!

[Author]

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