[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I also really miss the original green forum days. I was 15, 16 back then… Subhan'Allah, life goes by really fast… it's a minor sign of Qiyama…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

o ajnabii mere ajnabii	Oh stranger, my stranger,
na jaane tum kahaa.n chale gaye ho	who knows where you've gone off to.
yaad mujhe tum kitna aa rahe ho	How much I miss you.
suunii sii hai dil kii galii	The lanes of my heart seem deserted.
o ajnabii mere ajnabii	Oh stranger, my stranger,
tere pyaar kii nishaaniyaa.n	The tokens of your love
ban ga'ii kahaaniyaa.n	have become stories.
phir se muhabbat phir kaise mai.n pyaar karuu.n	Love again? How can I love again?
phir se vafaa ka kaise mai.n ikraar karuu.n	How can I express a promise of my faith again?
tere pyaar me.n mai.n to DHalii	In my love for you, I have drawn to an end.
o ajnabii mere ajnabii	Oh stranger, my stranger,
kis se kahuu.n pareshaaniya	to whom can I tell my worries?
<s

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

*siiigh*

I feel overwhelmed and helpless and tired and sad. And I'll smile throughout it all because no notices I'm fooling them with my broken smile.

But when no one else even notices, Allah knows. Jiska koi nahi hota, uska Khuda hota hai. He who has no one, has God.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke?	How can this courage bow?
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke?	How can this desire/wish stop?
Manzil Mushkil To Kya?	So what if the destination is difficult (to reach)?
dhundla Saahil To Kya?	So what if the shore is blurry?
Tanha Yeh Dil To Kya?	So what if this heart is lonely?
Raah Pe Kante Bikhre Agar,	Even if there are thorns scattered on the path,
Uspe To Phir Bhi Chalna Hi Hai,	It still has to be walked upon.
Shaam Chhupale Suraj Magar,	The night hides the sun, but
Raat Ko Ek Din Dhalana Hi Hai,	the night has to pass one day.
Rut Yeh Tal Jayegi,	This season will pass,
Himmat Rang Layegi,	Our strength will bring color
Subha Phir Aayegi	<s

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Quote:

Hey Tayba I LOVE your display picture… the whole sea waiting to be discovered, a friend in tow for company (because you always need company in life and whoever says otherwise is just kidding themselves… ), little girls depicting innocence and a clear, fresh mind that's willing to absorb the world, a place far far away from the crowds of London, the sights and smells of sea (are they going to throw a message-in-a-bottle into the sea hun? ), the tides of life……….. and of course, my two most favourite colours in the world.. blue and white.

At least, I am assuming they are little girls. It could well be a little boy and girl. OK wait lemme go see again lol.

Life is a b!tch.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

This isn't funny or anything, but it was just soooo sweet I HAD to put it up!

Silence.: i love ur msn name
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…:
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: which part?
Silence.: Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…:
Silence.: that one
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: hehe
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: jaana
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: i know this sounds big-headed
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: but i love it when you compliment my writing
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: because i know the kind of writings you like
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: and the stuff you like is the stuff i aspire to write like
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow, never to fall and stumble”…: and so for you to say you like what i write is like – a big thing for me
“Love only ever gives you reason to grow,

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Quote:

I love this. Particulary because the quote describes how I feel. or how I see people.

okay i don't make sense.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Booooooooooooooooooobz! For you!

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

You were so right, twin ji! I'm in love with the lyrics! Come ji, come lie with me and forget the world?

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

LOL I just wrote a blog about her using everything I said in this thread!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Sometimes I wish she could see me the way I am today. I've changed so much, I think. My opinions and my thoughts and my faith in myself has changed so much. Sometimes I wish she could see me like this. And I know I'll continue to change even more with life, because each challenge, each circumstance, each situation will help me to grow and gain new perspectives. But I wish she could see the process… see me turn into the person I'll become one day.

She is the person who I know would tell me if I was doing something wrong. She is the person who would tell me which path to give up on, and which path to begin with. She if the person who would encourage me. She is the person who would catch me if I were to stumble. She is the person who would turn herself into a punching bag for me and let me be angry. She is the person who would overlook all my tantrums and anger. She is the person who would take away my anger and help me be calm. She is the person that would understand me.

She is the person who would give me credit for all that I'm not able to give credit for myself. She is the person who would appreciate all that I do for everyone around me. She is the person who would assure me that I truly am doing something for everyone around me. She is the one who would tell me to appreciate myself. She is the person who would give me countless reasons to let me know that I have so much in me to appreciate. She is the person who would recognize the beauty in me and then turn herself into a mirror so that I could see the beauty in myself. She is the person that would understand me.

But Allah (SWT) truly does everything for a reason. And maybe when I meet her once again (phir milenge chalte chalte), when she sees the person I have become, maybe she will be the one to tell me that I have grown and found myself without her. That I have done it all by myself. And that in itself would teach me a whole new lesson.

I love you, dii.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I really love you, twin ji, I really do.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Boo, that was simply beautiful.

And the “montage of Khushi-isms” is what gives me comfort on days I miss her the most…

Quote:

… little sparks of thoughts that she saw and understood and appreciated before they disappeared…

I know exactly what you mean…

Quote:

Khushi was special. Hell, she is special. And she always will be – wherever she goes, whatever she does, whatever she becomes. After a year of 'trial', she has 'proved' herself so beautifully… and for those moments – for that one year and a bit, and that one year and a bit alone – I have willingly given her all of my heart.

She truly is special. I always thought that if someone were to leave my life, then they would leave my mind as well. Like we were saying, the whole “outta sight, outta mind thing” the other night… but it's not even like that. Yes, she may have physically left my life, but she's still in my heart, in my thoughts, in my emotions. She hasn't left me, and I haven't let her. The extent of my love for her even though she hasn't physically been here for so long surprises me. I don't know if this would have been possible with someone else.

Quote:

I would be lying – yes, I would quite honestly be lying if I said I miss her so much. Missing causes too much pain, and too many tears, and I will forever keep going round in circles if I keep on missing her…. and yet, I would quite honestly also be lying if I were to say I don't wish she was back in my life… oh Khushi, only you can bring out all the paradoxes in me… there is never one moment in my life that has gone by when I didn't wish I could just… see her being herself again. I miss her presence, I miss her. Not for my sake, for me to talk my life out with her or anything, but… for my sake (see??!! SEE??!! Khushboo, only you can do this to me… you fool… if I ever meet you I will first of all chase you around with my chappal for bringing out these inexplicably crazy feelings from within me… I swear to you I will…), just so I can see her be herself.

I don't wonder where she is now, what she is doing now. To a certain extent, I don't particularly care where she is now or what she is doing now… but I always, always wonder if she is happy… for so long, she has prayed every night for me to have a peaceful night's sleep, I always wonder if she is getting that herself. I always wonder if she hears a song and sees her Boo, her Khushboo, in it. I always wonder if she goes past moments in life, feeling my presence in them for some magical miraculous reason. I always wonder if there is a smile in her eyes, a peaceful one, whenever she sees the sunrise and sunset. I wonder if words from a flowing conversation remind her of me, and if her heart smiles. I always, always, always wonder if she still remembers her Boo. I wonder if she is happy. Not happy, but happy. And I know she knows there is a difference between the two.

You don't know how much these two paragraphs have helped ease my pain of missing her. Yes, I miss her. But it's like you said, for the sake of seeing her be herself. I couldn't put it into words, but you've done it for me… Yes, I still wonder where she is and what she's doing and how she's feeling and if she thinks of me and if she remembers all the beautiful conversati

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Of course I'm a genius! I'm oh so clever!

and OYE! chup kar! I didn't know you were trying to be a copy cat!!!!!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Booooooooo awwwwwwwwww hai hai main sajdke jawaaaan kudiye!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I miss you, dii…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

And how quickly the tears turned into smiles and giggles as I read another one of her posts… I remember that night so well… what a beautiful night it was for both of us…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I've been reading Khush's pm posts to me… and it's making me cry so much… *siigh*

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I miss so many people and so many things that it hurts.

Filhaal, I miss Khushi and lover ji…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya ghum, to yeh gum hi sahi

Bechaara kahan jaanta tha
Khalish hai yeh kya khala hai
Shehar bhar ki khushi se
Yeh dard mera bhala hai
Jashna yeh raaz na aaye
Mazaa toh bas gam main aaya hai

Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi

Kabhi hai ishq ka ujaala
Kabhi hai maut ka andhera
Bataao kaun bes hoga
Main jogi banu ya lutera
Kayi chehre hai is dil ke
Najaane kaunsa mera

Maine dil se kaha dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya gum, to yeh gum hi sahi

Hazaaron aaise phaasle the
Jo Tai karne chale the
raahe magar chal padi thi
Aur peeche hum rah gaye the
kadam Do chaar chal paaye
Kiye phere tere mann ke

Maine dil se kaha, dhoond laana khushi
Nasamajh laya ghum, to yeh gum hi sahi

Khushi… how I miss you, dii. My Happyness…

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

scratch that – i feel awesome!

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