[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

LOL You two naaaa! So funny!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

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Haha I practice my english everyday in the forums, but I don´t dominate the english 🙂

NO TE PREOCUPES : Don´t worry !!

TODO ESTARÁ BIEN : everythings gonna be okay

Hmm… how would I say this… Tus ingles esta muy bien! Is that right? lol Where do you live again? hhmmm Donde tu vive?… lol I don't remember how to say where do you live. I know I read it somewhere in one of the threads but I can't remember the answer.

Yeah, I had a feeling that “no te preocupes” meant don't worry. that's why I asked because you didn't translate that part, just the last bit. hehe I'm proud of myself.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

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recently a friend had said to me that all the answers I ever need is already in me and dat whenever I feel soul troubled I should end my night with all the questions that have been eating at my heart all day…and dat all the answers will be revealed to me in my sleep because thats when WE ARE MOST ATTENTIVE and when we actually listen to the voice of God…

Ur in my duas.. when the time is right u will be able to understand yourself and forgive yourself for wat u perceive to be a wrong ..remember **a wrong ** is only a perception of what a person makes it to be… In my humble opinion..how can u not know who u are if you do not express and experience all of lifes **characteristics*** …so a long explanation shortened… no one is ever truly wrong…… as wrong would indicate that wat u were thinking, acting out or doing was not right….and if u were truly feeling, thinking and doing something u believed to be the right thing as apposed to wat another thinks is right or wrong… why then does that become a wrong..

Dnt mean to be intrusive…and certainly dont mean to upset u or anyone soooo yeah…

hope lifes turns out as its destined to for u Rani..take care

You're not being intrusive. *sigh* Scarry, please check your PMS, I'm going to PM you after I post this comment up. I didn't completely understand what you meant, but I know you mean well, thank you for the duas

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

This song OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Kunal Kapoor (My Imraaaaaaaan!) reminded me of him for the first time in this movie. I was soooo giddified while watching this movieeeeee! And am again watching the video!

Dhaadi ke beech mein dimple chuapat hua…. la la la la la laaaaaaaaaa

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJBy-maTj50

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Man, I WANT HER VOICE! She CAN SING! I wish I knew how to sing. Man i've wished that a million times. I would sing day and night. LMAO

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Haha I'm so happy you're happy my lovely! mao @ the whole “screw this Mystery Woman” thing!

Enjoy.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

yummy!

(Lyn, carrots are good!)

Gum? (lol)

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

eugh!

(lol why did i post twice? )

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

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Awwwwwww Lyn that is sooo sweet of you! I actually really love this song and really needed it! Thank you… so much! Muchas gracias senorita!

Ohhh señorita?? I like it!!! Your spanish is very good!! So…. De nada, no te preocupes todo estará bien! ( It´s ok, everythingh´s gonna be okhi haha)

lol it used to be a lot better back in high school, now it's sooo bad because I get no practice speaking it! lol But what exactly does no te preocupes mean? todo estara bien means everythings gonna be okay, si?

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

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I saw this and immediately thought of only you…

And you'll find him… the one that'll be brave enough to climb all the way to the top.

Okay Rani, I dont know where you found this beautiful thing, but I've never seen something like it!

And to think of how many things these few words can explain!

Even I was surprised at how true it can be

And if it is true, then it would explain a ton – a – stuff!

I don't remember where I found it lol, but yes, it is beautiful, isn't it?

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

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Ohh girls, I undersatnd how you are feeling, but the life is beautiful!! Look for the wonderfull thingh that the life has. Ok, lets go!

This song is for you!!: KHABI KHABI GIRLS!

Kabhi kabhi GIRLS!! zindagi mein yunhi koi apna lagta hai
Sometimes in life, GIRLS, just like that someone seems like your own
Kabhi kabhi woh bichhad jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai
Sometimes GIRLS, when they are separated, it seems like a dream
Aise mein koi kaise apne aansuon ko behne se roke?
In such, how can anyone stop their tears from flowing
Aur kaise koi soch le everything’s gonna be okay?
And how can someone think everything’s going to be okay

Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi na khushi aur na mazaa
Sometimes it seems there is no happiness nor fun left in life
Kabhi kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa
Sometimes it seems every day is difficult, every moment is a punishment
Aise mein koi kaise muskuraaye kaise hans de khush hoke?
In such, how can someone smile, or be happy and laugh
Aur kaise koi soch le everything’s gonna be okay?
And how can they think everything’s going to be okay

Soch zara jaan-e-jaan tujhko humein kitna chahte hain
Think dear, how much we care for you
Rote hain hum bhi agar teri aankhon mein aansoo aate hain
If there are tears in your eyes, I/we cry too
Gaana to aata nahin hai magar phir bhi hum gaate hain
I/We don’t know how to sing, but yet I/we sing
Hey, GIRLS.. Maan kabhi kabhi saare jahaan mein andhera hota hai
Hey GIRLS, believe for a minute that there is darkness in the entire world
Lekin raat ke baad hi to savera hota hai
But it’s only after night that day comes

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[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Kavita, it's funny that you mention understanding yourself and who you really are. Because after all this time I've spent in this world, I still haven't found myself. I have a problem. I don't know myself or rather, I'm unsure of myself. I don't know who I am or rather, I'm unsure of who I am. People are always telling me what kind of person I am, who I am, what I am. Of course, I don't mind it, I actually like it because it's information; I find out things about myself that I never knew or never thought of. And that's what bothers me. The fact that I don't know who I am but all these people seem to be so sure of who I am. The fact that I use it as information to find myself bothers me. I like knowing what people think of me, I really do. It's just that I wish I knew myself, that I understood myself, that I find myself on my own. And it hurts because I use their negative opinions to shape who I think I am and throw away the positive opinions into the never ending pile of doubts. I have so many doubts. It kills me. When I'm trying to find myself… all I see are the negatives. When I try to think of something positive, like I was thinking about how strong I am, I immediately push it aside into the doubt folder and the moment passes by. The moment is gone, I don't think I'm strong anymore, I think I'm really weak. But I'm so happy that I could sit there and write about my own strength for a change. Even if the moment passed, at least there was that moment and at least I have it written down. And that's another problem, the moments don't last too long. Usually they last a few minutes. But the strength moment lasted for a while and I had enough time to write it out before it passed. And when I do think of positives, if someone tells me I'm not strong, I'll consider it, because my doubts are so strong that I won't be able to fight for my positives. I feel that some people unknowingly take advantage of the fact that I'm so unsure of myself. Or maybe it's not that they take advantage, maybe it's that they are able to get away with labeling me as such and such because I'm so unsure of myself. Whatever it is, I'm mad at myself for being so unsure of myself. It hurts so much to not be able to defend myself because of my countless flaws and doubts and unsurety (I don't even think this is a word lol) of myself.

Kavita… I used to be as naive as you. I used to believe that nothing should be left unsaid. I don't leave anything unsaid to myself and I don't want anyone to leave anything unsaid to me, but I know that I must leave many things unsaid to others. You don't know me enough, Kavita. Once you see me close enough, you won't like what you see. I just turned on Chalo Jaane Do to listen to it like you told me to… but it's only making me sadder because I can do that with everyone. I forgive and forget so easily. I never hold a grudge. I never hold anything over anyone's head. I never stop speaking to anyone. I don't stay upset with people for too long. I don't punish people severely for the wrong that they may do. But I'm the exception. I don't forgive myself. I hold grudges against mys

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I read the replies yesterday, but I didn't have enough time on the computer to write a reply. But since I was in the mood to let it all out, I wrote it all down in a notebook. So I'm going to write up what I wrote yesterday:

Boo – Huh, twin moments in the twin moments. Today, my daddy took us out, about 3 hours or so from where we live. We were going to the aquarium. He woke us up early in the morning and I was in an awful mood due to my depressed state. I didn't want to go anywhere. I didn't want to see Sea Life when my own life was being reduced to nothing. I just wanted to sit at home and drown myself in my books. It was better to read about some fictional character's pain rather than think about my own real pain. I didn't say anything, just got ready and sat reading my book while I waited for my dad, sis, and brother to get ready. It was a three hour drive and I took my book with me to read in the car. About an hour or so into the drive, the view became beautiful (as it usually does on long drives). But this time was different because when I turned to look at the beauty of Allah's creation, I thought ot myself, “This world is so beautiful… I can't even imagine how beautiful it's Creator must be. Allah is giving you joy through this beauty. Even if it's just for this moment, even if you know you're going to cry your eyes out once you get home, even if you know this moment of pure joy may not come back soon enough… Exactly! That's it! This moment of joy is rare. Take it or leave it. Don't be so stupid as to let this moment of pure joy, given to you by Allah, pass you by. Grab it. Cling to it. Embrace it. Revel in it. Live it. So I put the book away and stared out the window at the mountains, the fields, the orchards, the colorful flowers, the jungles, the lakes, the meadows, the beaches, the ocean. Of course, looking at the beauty I was surrounded in, the pain of the hideosity in myself creeped silently back into my thoughts. I let the tears pool in my eyes. I let a single tear drop from the corner of my eye. I wiped it away secretly. I breathed. I let the moment pass. And surprisingly, the moment did pass and I was once again able to grab onto the joy. And by the time I got home late at night, I had had a really great day at the aquarium, at the parks, at the beaches… in the ocean. I won't lie, the pain creeped in more than once during the day, but I also let it pass more than once.

Epiphany: I'm so strong.

I know that sounds strange coming from someone who is so broken beyond repair right now, and I must be crazy for thinking that I'm strong, but I can't help the thought. I am strong. I'm so much stronger than some people I know. Some people are very weak. I realize now that the people I once thought were so strong, the people I felt I could ease a little of my burden on, they didn't turn out to be as strong as I thought. I, however, turned out to be a lot stronger than I thought. I'm not saying this in a bad way, I'm not trying to belittle the people that are not as strong as me (because Allah knows that my strength doesn't even begin to describe strength), it's just that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. I don't mean to belittle weakness in any way (because Allah knows that my weak moments hit me a million times a day), I'm just trying to give myself some credit. I'm not as weak as I think. I turned out to be stronger than I thought. So, all in all, I had a great time today.

Another twin moment: You spoke about breaking free. In the car, my dad turned on the CD and the song “Break Free” from Krazzy 4 came on and I was thinking about how nice it would be to break

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

I am so miserable. I feel like a zombie. I feel so robbed… robbed so brutally time and time again. How much longer can I hold on before I fall into my own fire and burn in it once again? Because I always burn in my own fire. I light the fire, I ignite it, I add more wood to it, I burn in it, I am the fire, and in the end, I am the smoke that hovers in the air, still suffering long after the fire has been burned out.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Boo, once again, your thoughts are a reflection of mine.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

LOL Kavita, I soooo feel you! A few weeks ago, I lost the remote to my DVD player (it ended up being under my sister's bed lmao) and you know us, we watch movies a lot, so in that week that the remote was lost, we watched movies that didn't have any of those kind of scenes in them. I was telling my sister, “OMG This would have been SO AWFUL if these movies turned out to have those scenes in them cuz then we wouldn't be able to forward them with the remote! *gets irritated* Why do they have to makes movies where you're searching for the remote every 10 minutes to forward their stupidity?!?” LMAO We laughed our butts off at it, but seriously, it really does get annoying.

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

Campfire

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

And apparently, so do you!

[RaNi iS ThE BeS]

yum

carrots?

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