[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Okay guys …enuf already…Ek het baie kak in my elke dag, dis is baie, even vir ek!!

First and foremost, I woke up feeling great this morning, I walked…no I danced into Gossamers room smiling and she asks:

G: **sooo how u feeling?*

Me: **super great tnx..its going to be a beautiful day hun..*

And dats how I want it…soooo wrt Senor Leaving…

Another thing happened yest..

I received an email yest morning Telling me to fix it…off coz I had no clue wat it meant until I saw senor post..

Being meee…. I got all worried, scared and upset dat I had upset Senor..

It took a days worth of tears, worry, self desctructive blaming, lotza love confessions 🙂 and feeling helpless ….as well as a lot of alcohol and 2 great frends to set me straight…so yeah I am now officially an alcoholic….at least something is going good my end!!!!

Firstly: I cannot for the life of me give myself such credit…I mean wat on earth would make me think that the silly posts I type are going to affect Senor in such a drastic way, and leaving a forum full of friends to me is a drastic move..No PPL I DNT HAVE THAT MUCH OF AN EFFECT ON ANYONE….sorry to disappoint the **finger pointers**

But until Senor himself calls me up and tells me directly that I am the reason for this rash decision, I am not going to continue feeling bad…

I will miss him here as much as anyone, and the 101 emails portraying my feelings regarding this situation and my feelings for him is sufficient enuf to assure him that I do care and love him and will miss him more than many of u here…

I literally drove ppl around me craze yesterday asking the most absurd questions, crying on the fone with my clients because if anyone here truly knows me, they will knw that senor is a very special person in my life, he is more than a friend, a trusted confidant, actually one of the VERY FEW ppl I truly trust in this place….sooo once that thought settled in my head that its meeee…it just went craze from there on…!!! Ie my emotions simply took over and I just let it:)

Yes!!! I have been extremely moody and **tchy..I wont apologize for this because it is who I am…

And its too late to say **lets not point fingers at Scarry**lmao coz dats been dones, and the feelings have sunk in and now demolished sooo no worries…its easy to see a lot when ur down and are trying to find the light, its easier to see who is standin by yr side to assist and who is rejoicing during ones sadness…so alls kewl…Am as level headed as I will ever be and am actually grateful for Senor posting that

Coz It has somehow got Me stuck in a corner having no choice but to sort out myself…

I will not go on apologizing as Senor is adult enough ot make his own decisions..soo if he doesn’t want to be here, so be it, and if he returns, I would be the happiest person ..but its his decision, I did try to convince the dude to return though…coz he once said to me that I should not leave because of him – so I returned, and now I said the same to him and hope he returns!!!..

On a personal level, as far as I am aware, Senor and I have no qualms watsoever, apart from this forum posts now!!!

On another personal note, if my words get way in too deep for a few, so be it, but I am sick of being faulted at every damn corner..I just returned from my place of birth, disshevelled, heart broken and full of sadness because of being blamed for things beyond my control…

Seeing someone mention the very birth I hated, just threw me off the rail…

Senor, am sure ur reading this so to u anna: werever the wind takes u ..may the breeze of warmth and love embrace u fully..I wish to see u here soon but wish u all the best in the interim..take care yaar.. ***hug**

Mara: Oh myyyyy..roflmao..Jeeez woman, thanks for making me laff!!Good to see u back my darling and lmao..ur right all of this sounds waaay to dramatic even for me..and to be honest I kinda dnt like much drama

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what chu here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!

Xx

tere naal mein aavaangi, sasooral mein jaavaangi

hey tenu leke main javanga, dil deke main javanga

hey ya… hey ya…

Xx

o na kar maan rupaiye wala bar bar ke na rajje

bai na kar maan rupaiye wala bar bar ke na rajje

o na kar maan rupaiye wala bar bar ke na rajje

bai na kar maan rupaiye wala bar bar ke na rajje

Xx

Every time we meet
The picture is complete
Every time we touch
The feeling is too much
he's all I ever need
To fall in love again
I knew it from the very start

he's the puzzle of my heart

It's the way he's always smiling
That makes me think he never cries
I feel I'm losing my defences
To the colour of his eyes

Xxx

siine se ye dil gaya dil gaya

siine se ye dil gaya…

tera jaaduu chal gaya…

tuu mujhko mil gaya…

hamko apne haatho.n kii lakiiro.n me.n basa lo

tum hii nasiib apna ab ham ko bana lo

hamko apne haatho.n kii lakiiro.n me.n basa lo

tum hii nasiib apna ab ham ko bana lo

ham tum juda ho jaye.n…

aasaan nahii.n hai

Xxxx

koii ishq me.n paagal hota hai

koii ishq me.n banta hai diiwaana

ye ishq junuun hai chaahat hai

mushkil hai is ko samjhaana

vo ishq ka matlab samjhega yahaa.n ishq jise ho jaa'ega

mahasuus nahii.n hone dega…

dil chupke se kho jaa'ega

vo ishq ka matlab samajhega yahaa.n ishq jise ho jaa'ega

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Dammit….

I went home for a prayer this past weekend, besides that one of my closest friend is getting married at the end of Feb…well precisely on the 2nd of March, so yeah theres family and more family and friends surrounding me..

Anyways, I overheard two aunties who have no right being in my home talking about me in whispers..

Gossip monger1:

**u saw Lynn ( me ) she just arrived from Jnb…I dont knw why her mudder allowed her to go live all the way in Jnb alone…..its not right to let a young girl loose like dat….**dramatic only aunties can achieve sigh….

something MUST be wrong with that girl, otherwise why is she still not married….look at all her friends, even all her sisters are married..

I heard S ( my mum ) telling ( god knws who the person she was talking to ) that her baby is also planning on getting married ( my baby sister thia..is thinking of settling down …in the next year or 2…)…**

Gossip aunty 2:

**S ( mum ) says she refused that marriage proposal to that fella in Pmb ( that bludy chain smoking pundit dude..they gotta be kidding me )

…ur right sumthing is wrong with that girl..her mudder must do bad luck prayers for her …..its very sad for her family that she cannot FIND A BOY TO SETTLE DOWN WITH… ( Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh )*** I feel soo sorry for S ( mum ) she must be very worried bout Lynn ( me ) …***

Ga1:

**but who is gonna marry her now, she is old already and beyond the child bearing age, u think she will find someone**

….

Dats when I walk in …ok I was smiling …but sarcastically..not that these two will even knw the difference….

I greeted them and simply took what I had entered there for and left….

I was too busy running around the temple trying to get myself sorted out and so those words never truly sunk in until late on Sunday….

It was like the air was drained outa me..

I mean is there something wrong with me??? I knw the logic just flew out the door, the fact that Its my life and my decisions to make

But wtf…??? Some aunties say a few words and it eats right through my soul ….

I asked my mum dat night and she said

Okay am feeling to crappy right now..with Senors news and all to even go on but its one of the reason I have been misreably irritable

I mean….

I DUNNO wat to even think

Why do ppl say such things

Why wud they think I am the fault??or dat I lack watever??

I mean imagine meeee..Alishia married to some bludy idiot who smokes like he breathes and I am supposed to be wife to a man who reaks of cigarrete ?????????????

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo man…it cant be meeeeeeeeeeeeeee…???

I mean do I lack something here??

All my frends are married..or about to..my family?? Almost all my cousins are married even the ones as young as 21..

I am actually the last one standing!!!!

Should I be worried here?????????

I feeel reallly low right now..since this weekend….

Am thinking about the failed loves of my life………………….

I must lack something….

why am I still single??? why am i even bothered about all of this???

Omg, am I gonna be oe of those unloved, unwanted old ppls that ppl wont want to talk to?? Or sums to that effect???

Okay

I admit this senors news has really gotten to me…more than I wouldve expected and da

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

In the interest of self-preservation, I need to say what I have to say as fast I could say it and leave as fast as I can:

As most good things in life, this, I'm afraid has to come to an end. In the few months that I have been a part of this forum, I have experienced kindness, compassion, understanding, generosity and have received the gift of undeserving friendship from strangers around the world. I am very grateful. After considerable thought, I have decided that it is best that I leave. I do not know if this is permanent or temporary. Perhaps time will tell.

I wish you all the very best in life. Thank you for the wonderful memories.

Ciao

Senor

U cant okay

U cant leave…

I don’t want u to go..

Just don’t

Simple as dat..

Am gonna start singing*** pls don’t go..dnt go…pls dnt goooooooooooooooooooooo

I want u to stay, pls remain…where u belong..pls dnt go….

……… now am gonna sing

**dnt u dare go breaking my heart….u said u wudnt soooo dnt go…dnt leave….

Pls stay……for a lil while much more than longer*********

Guys pls help me here okay……….

Senor Anna..u cannot leave…..okay

Am more than panicking at yr news…my heart is breaking..no my already broken heart cannot take any more

Super glueing soo u just cant leave…

If not for anyone else then me..coz I love u and want u to stay okay pushed monkey u have to ….

Or I will go craze and start eating bananas then I will braid my hair and live on trees and singing

Sway with me whilst swinging from branch to branch looking for u

Ness & Kavi:

I told u guys not to tease me..coz I may fall in love with him and then he will break my heart

Now seee whats happening…exactly what I said…..he is breaking me heart hommies

Anna u cant goooooo…noooooooooooooooooo …u cant

U CANT

U CANT

U CANT

Besides like I said to u ..if its my posts then:

Am sorry

But brothers and sisters are allowed to fight with each other even over the most annoyingly petty stuff

I just wasn’t thinking yest Sam…..pls accept my maaf…I really am sorry if it was my silly bickering…

**thumps Senor anna on the head** if this is actually the reason for yr goodbyes coz it’s a silly reason….

My random outbursts..heck I have said worse to u..u knw dat….sooo why leave now…

It cant be mee..right??<img src="https://www.bollywoodlyrics.com/cs/emoticons/emotion-42.gif&quot; alt="Confused"

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

In the interest of self-preservation, I need to say what I have to say as fast I could say it and leave as fast as I can:

As most good things in life, this, I'm afraid has to come to an end. In the few months that I have been a part of this forum, I have experienced kindness, compassion, understanding, generosity and have received the gift of undeserving friendship from strangers around the world. I am very grateful. After considerable thought, I have decided that it is best that I leave. I do not know if this is permanent or temporary. Perhaps time will tell.

I wish you all the very best in life. Thank you for the wonderful memories.

Ciao

Senor

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

And unable to tease Alie. With Bollywood, anyway.

i miss amzeeee…

and shaks

werz mara

and kavs???

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

Aankhon mein teri… ajab si ajab si adaayein hai…..

!

dammit now I miss the guy

how is dat possible??

am I missing sums here???

guys pls help make sense of this with me….I think i AM losing it here….

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

Aankhon mein teri… ajab si ajab si adaayein hai…..

!

dammit now I miss the guy

how is dat possible??

am I missing sums here???

guys pls help make sense of this with me….I think i AM losing it here….

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

Quote:

PS: SOO WHAT WAS HE LOOKING AT THEN???? HMMMMM

Your curious eyes!

He must be fascinated by what your eyes are saying to him!

no

i havent seen him since wednesday last week:(

🙁

🙁
okay wat da heck..I havent though about the guy since now..after seeing this post…lol

damn..I cant even have a krush dat last longer than a few weeks..how sad is dat???

my eyes???

plssss Ness…tell me ur not being sarcastic??? coz I was seriously taken with this guy..and u from all others KNW

wat a difficult task that is..**finding someone whom I am attracted to ***

Z*(&%)*&%)*%)&*%*) I feel like swearing..hoping it rains..so I can dance in the rain…wanna just cry again…..

dis isnt even the feelings thread…

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

. Sorry to ruin your weekend with trivial matters!

2. As I replied to the private email you sent, I felt uneasy and didn't wish to irritate Senor with drama!

3. As I also told you, in same email: “No harm no foul!”

1. U couldnt ruin my weekend even if u tried..was just worried..sometimes pranks can go over board..thought u were upset..guess not…but then I saw yr post and the damn power went off..cudnt and didnt have any means to contact u then…..

2. only saw yr reply after I posted this one here…as for irritating Donkey…hmmmphhh.dat used to be my only aim in life…

but no worries..he can go jump of burnin buildings and swim with sharks for all I care…didnt knw his feelings were dat important DOUBLE Hmmmphhhhh…..like I said will not say a thing anymore… bout Senor!!! ….

feeling uneasy??? = taking it personal…. but ….dis kewl …**massive hug***... I Pomise I WONT TEASE U GUYS EVER …!!!!

3. well yr response made me think my post was harmful..okaaaay enuf of the drama as u calll it..am outa here

…..

ps: just sooo u all knw..am the least dramatic person in this place..okay…!!!

and yeah pls watch watye say to me these days okay coz am feeling a bit over emotional and can

take things to heart…this is for u SENOR…bout yr damn drama n alie sharing the same womb bit……:(

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

Now, you and I (and just about everyone else) know that it is possible that Alie and Drama were either conceived together or shared a single womb and came out together. Lmao! You asking her not to be dramatic is like asking Elton John to please not be gay. Sigh!

Excuse me??????

Okay now I am seriously..officially damn pissed off u hear…..

how dare u ???????????????????

and everyone else??????????????

all of u can go bludy well sit and eat flies in hell for all I care….

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Ishq hua he hua

oh god..have been cryin up a storm these few days, hate feeling alll emotional an craze an

love love love…..craze…

but Ishq hua he hua……

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

Gawd! I want to have kids Lmao! I know this is not related but I am going to mess them up so bad its going to be beautiful. I can see me and my boys walking around the house butt-naked on Naked Saturdays! Sigh!

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh God pls spare humanity from that…

thank u

lol

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

by Jp.

sorta liked it…end was a shocker ….

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

But just one point I must make, though…. feeling lonely is something everyone can go through/feel/whatever the verb is, don't you think? Whether the person has many friends or none… loneliness has nothing to do with being alone. I am never alone. I never have been and I hope sincerely that I never will be. But feeling lonely…. it's different, isn't it? It's when there is something missing, something not quite right about you, your life… it's when you are still looking for that special love… you know the kind, the kind that completes you.

nahi…okay I agree….dammit..hate this whole love loneliness missing somebludly thing in yr life feeling..

meeee: even though u didnt ask..lmao..

like dats gonna stop me from being dramatic…:) and simply telling u wat I feel

I have no clue wats missin in my life..ok maybe I do..but am not sure…

is it love?? THAT love???

I have family frends…

a good job…no a damn well great job….a blessed social life..lol…lotza ppl who are around me always…

I never wanted marriage and love …but thats only coz I had a rather unforgettable experience..

I want a BABY…dats wats going to complete me…it may complete me…..

I want lotz of babies…..i wanna knw wat its like having a life grow within me..

I think i want …love….***confusciousness***

i want to be held by the man who not just tells me he loves me..who SHOWS ME..he does

I can feel it in his presence…. when he looks at me..the sly smile..the gentle touch//through just about every move…thought..word ..deed

I will KNW and FEEL his love..am sick of loving

no offence to the man I love but I am sooooo FLIPPPANT sick and tired of loving

yet not FEELING loved…I wannna soooo want to damn KNW wat the fuss is about???????????????

I have never been loved…soooo YES i guess thats my loneliness

I KNW..being surrrounded by soo many people..laughter…music..love..yet ur lonely..soooo lonely u feel it in yr bones..

it tears yr heart apart..it breaks pieces of yr soul…..

where///how///when///who???

I dunno..am always saying that we are complete…and having that special man is and added bonus..a gift from god..yet what the heck am I feeling??no other person can complete u as such…but am i wrong??

omg

I feel sooo happy…life cudnt be better…..yet am lonely… its the sad truth….

i was just surrounded by soo many ppl in my life who mean the world to me..yet a part of me felt lost…like some bludy thing is missin

now i log on here ..and see these posts and it reminds me of my feeling…

oh flip!!! wat the hell am I talking bout now….

sorry guys…

just caught up in my thoughts here…

erhmmm…

Singing

****Mitttttttttttttttttttttwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrveeeeeeeeeeeeeee

wiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllll FIND a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*****

sigh!!!

ps: too much coffeee makes me overzealous in thought…lol

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

I am listening to Musu Musu Hasi from Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi (1999) for the third time in my life right now. It has such a nice tune, I'm getting addicted to it. What are you having for dinner?

damn I have heard this song in years….

I actually dnt like it..too annoying..imagine me singing..**musu musu hasi** lol

yuk..wud rather sing…aaaja nachle..anywys..just seeing the words brings back a few memories..

tnx boo;)

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

dammit u just made me hungry now…have been fasting for 17 days so far..today is my last and u got me craving meat…hmmmphhhh

I wanna have champagne..even though I dnt drink it..I wanna get drunk outa my mind….prob

sooo drunk I wont be able to remember anything for a while…

hmmmm

dats seems like an idea…

**thinks**

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

lmao…oh gosh am sitting at a cafe and laughing myself silly here..got everyone looking at me…lol

u guys are mental..cute mental

Love u all…

sigh!!!

lifes bludy great in this second

'

next: someone says something to u…erhmmm something u wud never in yr life dream would be said to u…something that make yr heart like literally skip a beat and tears stream down yr cheeks…something that truly touches u…something that sorta touches yr soul….how do u respond to this???

should I ignore it or simply say wats in my heart???

I mean what wud u do?? lol

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

god

[MaMa PeGaSuS]

Quote:

Then I'd pass my eyes around for the others to see you! Though I'm sure they see what I see!

Every 'fumble & crack' wrapped in that humility, make my eyes smile!

uhmmmm …I dnt think others will c what u see ..wateva da heck u guys are taslking bout..the sentence just didnt make sense to mee….

wat I see is love..but then again..am I drama queen Right….

wat wud i knw….

[Author]

Posts