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LOL… Ninja.. Hehe! Aww.. cute!

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Yes missy – you should be sorry for that crappy translation….. (!) (Note the sarcasm and the smile in the words LMAO..)

This song brings back bittersweet memories for me… and once, I was listening to music with someone, and this song came on, on shuffle, and I wanted to skip to the next song and she told me, “FIGHT your demons..” LMAO… I managed to get through the song without crying… wahey!

It's a beautiful song, though… What made you suddenly remember that? Just random?

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In the past three months or so, two people I am good friends with have commented to me that I am lucky/blessed to have such good friends around me, and that listening to me talk about them makes them wish they had such good friends too. When my second friend told me that, I told him that he was the second one to have made a comment like that to me, and he was teasing me saying, “You keep count?!”.. haha! But it's kind of hard to forget such comments, because on both occasions, I did not have a clue what to say in response… I still don't know what to say lol.

But I'm digressing. The point is, it just made me realise how far I've come. From that little seven year old girl with no friends and lonely lunchtimes, to picking myself up… picking my messy life up and doing something about it. I had my reasons for having no friends (and that is a long story and involves too much mystery-revealing! Ha ha ha… kidding. I don't know what I'm kidding about actually.. possibly the fact that I think I am important enough to have been able to say that which I know I am not… oh gosh, I am babbling bakwaas again…). If someone had said to me back then, that I would have love beyond words… I… well hell, I don't know what I would have done! Probably I'd have stared at them and wondered what the hell was going on lol.

I have seen – experienced – loneliness before. I have experienced being left out of things before. I don't know if it's more or less than the misery other people in the world (some of my own friends, even..) have had to go through, but hey… who's quantitising? And to hear people say that I have such wonderful friends in my life to me… for other people to actually be sad that they don't have what I have – especially since I have been in the same place as a little girl… it just… feels overwhelming. I can't explain it. I am not saying I get pleasure out of seeing other people sad or lonely (hell no!), or that I feel special only because other people have told me I am special (feeling special comes from within and all that jazz, you know… )… but… that… it… how do I put it… it just gave me another reason to realise how far I have come. It sort of gives me hope… in a funny way. It taught me that you have within you the strength and the capacity to live life the way you have dreamed. I know it will not always work out (and how… sigh.), but it's just amazing… I am here now… but who knows where life will lead me in two years' time…?

It funny because two years ago (well, nearly two years ago), I was saying how I don't know where I will be in two years' time… maybe I will change my mind and believe that SoulMates do exist… who knows… (ha ha ha….! Sigh!) the point is, the opinions we have now, the thoughts we have now, the life we lead now… may completely change in time. It's important to remember that, I think. Someone I deeply love(d), always used to ask me, whenever I expressed an opinion to him, “Is that so? Do you really think so?” …. and I would always reply, “I don't know ji… this is just me – now… my opinions, my thoughts, my feelings – now.. at this point in time… who knows what will happen in the future…” .. and funnily enough, I also always used to say to him, “I don't know what the future holds and I don't care what the future holds – I love you now and I love you so much…” Sigh. Madness. Time. It changes a lot of things.

Groan..

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Ninjalicious… aww. So sweet you remembered. Thank you.Is that your own translation btw?

Anyway… yeah… thanks ji…

Funny story behind this one… but damnit I gotta go now… will tell you laterz.

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Quote:

“Buddha, I want ice cream!”

“NO, I need to go meet ginger!”

*giggle*

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Quote:

It seems that I'm nothing in people's eyes… my feelings don't even matter…

………………… then they are missing out on something.

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Bahahaha! Senor saab… aap bhee na!! (Tayba you fill him in on this… lol. Ahh nostalgia.. LOL…) LMAO… I… you… this… sigh! Oh heavens, I am going to miss this place so much…

Nessa – I was thinking the same thing… somehow I don't think it was the right word to use…

Senor saab is perfect for Sex-y Sam… really. I was listening to Rock N Roll Soniye (oh he is going to pick up on this, I am sure! ….. sigh!) and I couldn't stop thinking of him.. lmao! And the way he is kind and open-minded at the same time and is there for a confused/lost soul.

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Hai hai… itni (itna?) formal kyun ho ji… “thanks for asking”… Calling me a friend and being formal… lol.

I am… 'mentally menstruated'… (remember that phrase? I said it on the forum several months ago..)…

Hmm oh yeah… check your PM….. good luck wading your way through that!

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Hi person above me….

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Nessa…. who's The Marquis….

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Me too… exhausted!

Hi Nessa.. how are you today?

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Quote:

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
'Cause who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine

And it's like flying without wings
'Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

Oh, how I wish someone would say that to me!

What's this song, Nessa? I can't be bothered GOOGLING… *pops collar… Rani and Nessa style… *

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Quote:

I leave this evening. The time change has kicked my backside, but I'm ready to come home. I've been an emotional wreck!

…*whispers* I'll miss you!

Arre… why are you *whispering* madam?

I will miss you too….

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*chuckle*

About how this last month has made up for the past 3 years!

That is so beautiful….

Take care of yourself… when will you be 'back'?

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Alie – … thank you.

Khushi – that thing you showed us… the YT link to Britain's Got Talent… AWESOME! ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!

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Quote:

I feel like crying till there are no tears left…..

I wanted to find a pic of someone crying in someone's lap… and came across this and had to chuckle!

Tayba…. I love you. I'm here.

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Health/ht_shock_060727_ssv.jpg

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Quote:

I love the mischievous giggly pose of the second one… plus, she's on the phone lol (and I always read about how you guys are always on the phone lol) and I love that it has a green background to it…. forum…. It's so you! That look on her face, I mean….

JALDI PICK ONE, WOMAN! I wanna do the avatar thing before I leave!

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This is the closest I can find to Amrita Rao with her head covered…. sigh!

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/160/401317202_390414eb45.jpg?v=0

I don't muchlyness like the expression on Amrita's face, though….

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Quote:

Boo… twin ji… I will miss you. But I understand why you are doing this, and I love your love… Alhamdulillah. I read this when I was at Ninja's house… I was so upset, I started to cry, but Ninja was there to hold me (I love you, Ninja) and I realized that your reason for this is beautiful and completely understandable. This twin of yours will never be able to forget you. You'll always be in my thoughts and in my dil. For as long as Allah (SWT) lets me, I'll love you hamesha… Ameen.

It'll be okay, okay? *smiles*

*frown*

No… no crying… main vaapas aaongi… main zaroor vaapas aaongi twin ji… (*touchwood*…. unless something horrible happens to me… …)

Now come here….. *hug*

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Guys – um… I just wanted to let you know, I'll be taking a hiatus from the forum… I don't know for how long. But I'll be leaving on the 10th of May.

I'm not leaving because anyone has been getting on my nerves or anything like that. It's also not because I am bored of the forum (! … just the thought makes me shudder… with family, there is no 'boring'… ), or anything like that. At all.

There are several reasons – some practical, and emotional, too… and I run the risk of feeling guilty on both counts if I don't do this. I am scared…. not just for myself. I don't think I'm making sense.

You all will be in my thoughts. I will miss you all. But the forum holds so much of my life, and memories in it… I don't think I can bear being here with a bit of my soul missing just yet… I mean, it's been my shelter since 2003… that's just over five years' worth of life and love and memories… (wow!).. it means a lot to me.

I will come back. I don't know when. At least not for a month, month and a half… maybe more, maybe less. I genuinely don't know. I won't be deleting my account, or any of the PMs I have – at all… feel free to message me, if you want to that is… but – I know this sounds so horribly rude of me, but I'm not being rude at all… – the chances of me checking and replying are slim. I'm not trying to be rude at all, but I really need to leave for a short while. Fully leave. Well, as 'fully' as I can manage.

I hope you understand.

Thank you for all the love and the memories which I will hold close to my heart. Believe me, trust me, when I say they will give me the strength when I need it the most. Each and every one of you, have been wonderful to me. Thank you…

Take care of yourselves… you know I will be there, even if “only” in spirit or as you see a rising sun (you guys do know I love sunrises, right? ) or a spelling error on something you read (), I will be there. I love you all.

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