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wowwwwwwwwwwwwww Aao Milo Chalo justttttttttt came on TV!!!! Hehehe, Tabz said something centuries ago about how Aao Milo Chalo ought to be the forum's theme tune…

LMAO… I love the way you've given up on chasing me with the belan and just decided let's just dance… hahahah

hum jo chalne lageeeeeeeeeee chalne lageeeeeeeeeeee hai yeh raaaaaaaaaaste……………… <3

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See how much this forum is a part of my life?

I bought a VERY cheap, second-hand black and white laser printer off a friend (for like… one fifths, or even less than that of its original price… absolute freaking bargain… Khushi would have been so proud of me! )… and seeing as I couldn't sleep, I decided I might as well install it onto my laptop… and I thought, “Hmm… to test its printing, I have to try something special for the first time…” … and OK fine fine fineee yes the first thing I printed was something he wrote (… leave a girl alone, OK?! )… but I knew I couldn't show that to people who wanted to see how well my printer was working (and it works a DREAM… I love it!!), and so I decided to print out Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam lyrics (ha ha ha yes… that has 'him' in it too but stilllll… )…. from no other than my beloved BWL website… I printed out the full thing, without trying to minimise the number of pages or copying and pasting onto a word document or anything… just the whole thing… as I used to collect Hindi song lyrics and translations from this website and put them all into a small purple file (for those of you who remember this story… lol)…

I guess I needed this forum's…. aura… 'blessings', if you like…

LOL… most people would want a God of some form or other for blessings… and whom do I choose but my own God (him) and BWL… LOL… sigh.

I love it. I love you guys. Mad people.

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She would. And she'd find it even funnier chasing after me with a belan…but she doesn't know the tricks I have up my sleeve…

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*throws a huge bucket of water all over Rani*

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Whenever I used to feel lonely and tortured, I used to come to the forum… way, way, WAAAAYYY back in those old days…

… and now I am feeling lonely and totured… so here I am.

Sigh.

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Quote:

am listening to khwaab by niraj chag and am reminded of Khushi……

I miss that girl… I need her right now… so much. Sigh.

Have you heard anything from her?

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HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheer genius.

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Scarface,

I KNOW what you're going through. Don't give up. Friends are but momentary distractions, and my life at its very core feels very very lonely. I haven't felt like this in a VERY long time. But hang in there cos this is life too. I have learnt to just deal with it. Y'know? Just…. get out there and DEAL WITH IT. Life sucks and you're either dealing with it or losing it. I chose to deal with it.

On a seemingly, but not quite, disconnected note… I really REALLY REALLY want to have a baby. Oh the broodiness! A gorgeous little girl to look after. I think that's worth more than any amounts of high-flying careers. 🙁

OK, and now I have to go… sigh. I've lost hold of the person I once was, and I feel like I am now a different, yet the same, person. I don't get me anymore.

And I HATE the dating game. I HATE it. To the very core. ARGH!!!

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I miss the old forum too… it's a bit dull just checking your e-mails and Facebook every morning… lol.

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If this isn't love, I don't know what is….

If you ever leave, baby you would take away everything, the good and the bad…. how do I live without you? How do I breathe without you?

How do I… how do I… oh how do I live without you? I need you with me…

Sigh.

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I miiiiiiiiissssssssss you guys!

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Quote:

Sometimes when you need to hear those words the most (I love you), you're the one that ends up saying them first.

Promises shouldn't be broken…

It's so easy to make promises, to say you'll be there for someone… but it's actually showing up that matters the most. I've had so many people tell me they'll be there for me… but when it was time to fulfill their promise, did they show up? Forget showing up, they couldn't even offer a mere “I love you”.

I have so many emotions, so much pain inside of me that I don't know which one to take care of first. But you know what? Dil hai toh phir dard hoga (If there is a heart, then there will be pain), dard hai toh dil bhi hoga (if there is pain, then there must be a heart). Because Dil toh aakhir dil hai na (a heart is, after all, a heart), meethi si mushkil hai na (it's a sweet sort of hardship).

If ur referring to me above, I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner sweetheart…

BELIEVE ME sweetheart – the world has PLENTY of beautiful things, and one day – one damn fine beautiful sweet day – you will find your inspiration, your own beautiful secret to life that will stop you from EVER being sad again… you HAVE TO have faith… life is WAY WAY WAY TOO SHORT for you to EVER lose faith…

I can't pull you out of this sadness. Heavens know I wish I could, but I CAN'T. Only YOU can do that, sweety… only YOU can come up with YOUR OWN SWEET INSPIRATION FOR LIVING… and the most BEAUTIFUL thing will be, that you came up with it YOURSELF. Sometimes we look outside our own selves for love and comfort, that we forget there is always, always a welcome place in our heart for ourselves.

FIND IT, sweetheart… whatever it is that's getting you down – DON'T let it get the better of you.

You are a BEAUTIFUL person. Discover yourself.

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How funny, while you're feeling numb, I am on the other side feeling a rush of emotions for loves past come slowly but surely back towards me… like a wave that I know is going to form when it hits the shore… and I can only keep using all of my mental willpower to stop it from coming but I know one day or other, my heart will snap from all the tension of the stretching it has been doing, and the waves of tears will come crashing down on me.

And I wish to be numb numb numb to it all… enjoy the numbness sweetheart, use it to your advantage… feelings may be good and all, but sometimes if life were to give you a magical pain-numbing cream, you just gotta grab it with both hands and rub it all over all the wounds of the past and the present.

Nessa – I look forward to your correspondance…

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I was JUST thinking, as I was opening the BWL page (before it even loaded..) about how I should drop you a line, asking you how you have been… and then I see this.

Thank you, Nessa. Honestly – thank you. I guess pain fogs your perspective sometimes, and I needed to hear these words from someone from outside the fog… 🙂

Oh dear… I am sounding like I'm at an AA meeting or something! Although, you know… there really should be one for lost loves!! LLA…

I love you too…

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This time last year, I was paining over him. One year later, and I am still paining over him. I'm so so so scared I'll go back to those old days of crying every day for a good eight or nine months, not even one day without tear drops adorning my torn, painful self.

I was watching something on DVD, where the guy just says to his wife at the end of the conversation, “I love you”… and that made me realise how much I missed hearing those words from a guy. I missed their warmth, their comfort… I missed them so much.

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You. You bloody fool. You're probably sleeping right now, but let me tell you this – nobody, and I mean no-f***ing-body can ever, ever hope to love you as much as I love you. Ever. I adore you beyond words, sentiments, the universe and Shah Rukh Khan himself. I live for you, I breathe for you. Every single goddamn step in life, I take because I know that is what you would have wanted me to do. Every single thing I do, you are always there, always… your voice in my head, muttering my name and love beyond expression.

I know we've parted – and parted we shall remain – but you will always, always, have a place in my heart. You will always be loved by me. How can I not love you, you who understands and knows me so well, you with whom the world just stops… how can I not… how…

Maybe one day, one sweet day, you will realise how much you have come to mean to me. How much influence you had on this little girl's life, and for the beautiful better. How this girl who can be construed as mad in every sense of the word, still cherishes those innocent letters of conversation between you and her. How they are her most favourite possession in the whole word… a few words, typed in gay abandon, across a screen… how that is all she ever looks to and looks back on.

Maybe one day you will understand, how you gave me the biggest gift I could ever want – life.

I know you, mister. I know you want to see me fly through the open skies, I know you never meant to break my heart and crush my dreams……….. and believe you me, I will. I will be happy and I will be the craziest.

Because I love you and I want you to be happy, just like you want me to be happy.

Maybe one day, you will see. You will understand my love for you cannot even begin to be matched by anyone else… not even yourself.

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This forum is my life. Fact.

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Oh darling… this brings back SO many memories… I know EXACTLY what you mean about “every single word of this song”… because every single word of this song is perfect.

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pffft… trying to tease me huh? How about this.. I take a twist on the “kids say the darndest things” saying, “RANIs say the darndest things” and she goes, “Oh wait I'm confused… was that actually a typo? Rani says?”

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OMG GUYS RANI IS ACTUALLY A GENIUS!! SHE KNOWS THE TUNES OF SONGS BEFORE SHE'S EVEN HEARD THEM!

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